Driving Zen

Zen is not difficult, also not special. If you want special, you have special. But this special cannot help you. When you are eating, just eat; when you are walking, just walk; when you drive, just drive. That is Zen. There are many kinds of Zen -- eating Zen, working Zen, television Zen, driving Zen, playing tennis Zen. Sitting Zen is one part. Most important is, moment to moment, how do you keep clear mind? So Nam Cheon Zen Master was asked, "What is Zen?" "Everyday mind is Zen mind." So don't make special, don't hold something, don't be attached to something, don't make something; then you are already complete.

~ Zen Master Soen Sa Nim

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I found this quote while doing a Google search for "driving zen". You see, after a recent exchange in email with Lorianne about driving back from Sesshin for 3 hours in complete silence, I started to look deeply at why I really don't drive in silence on a daily basis. I wanted to find how others might have experienced driving Zen for themselves, what challenges they encountered and how did they overcame them. I even found two books on the subject (Zen Driving by K.T. Berger and Honku: The Zen Antidote to Road Rage by Aaron Naparstek) and was actually ready to place an order for them on Amazon when I stopped myself. I realized that I want to work this out for myself and not be biased by what someone else thinks about it.

So, during this morning's drive, I tried working with being aware of the entire experience of driving in the morning rush. My speed, safe distance to the car ahead of me, letting folks out to turn left. I was also very aware of my reactions to the other drivers, as well as my reaction to not having NPR on the radio as a normally would. I even found myself reaching for the radio button to turn on the radio after I noticed that it was a couple of minutes after the hour and the news re-cap would be on. I stopped myself and chose to continue to drive the rest of the way without the radio or CD player on. It's really interesting to see the impulse process at work in real time. Looking back, I think what caused me to automatically reach for the radio was partly the time and partly the uncomfortableness of not having the "important world issues" to occupy my mind's bandwidth while driving in heavy traffic. Then with just letting that impulse go, returning to silence, I found that what I was attempting to escape from wasn't all that bad after all.

CRAZY

The words we never said,
and the looks we never held
The silence that we kept so long,
it was easier left unsaid
But there's no denying

Standing at your door,
listening to our words
Honesty I've never heard
I'd stay for hours more,
but with you I can't ignore
What's best and all I've learned
But there's no denying, there's no one denying

I know it sounds crazy
but I feel so much
And I don't know what to do with myself
but I like being where you are
And I feel so certain about who I am in your eyes
And how come with you my time flies,
but I will let that time go by
Because there's no denying,
there's no one denying

All I've ever known is not what I know now,
when I look at you
And I'm scared of being known,
but not as scared with you somehow
There's no denying

~ Late Tuesday | the mp3

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Why do I like this song so much? The music. Yes, definitely the music, especially the chorus. The lyrics. Absolutely the lyrics!! Especially "crazy", "who I am in your eyes", "I like being where you are" and "I'm scared of being known". The harmony. The sweet, sweet harmony of Tara, Dana, and Jocelyn. The imagery. Wanting to be with someone that makes you feel so safe yet still have the overwhelming emotions that you don't know what to do with. That exciting tension of a new relationship. Or... that same exciting tension of rediscovering a familiar relationship once again. Sometimes there is no denying the truth of what is plainly there between two people. Experiencing the Now of being together, that's what it's all about.

Today at Meetingbrook

Just wanted to share with folks this "new to me" Buddhist blog I found yesterday. I like the thoughts and writings here a lot. I wish I lived closer to Maine to pay this sangha a visit, they sound really neat. Check them out at Today at Meetingbrook.

Just Get Out of Bed

I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. Most days I just don't want to move after I've turned the alarm off. Like this morning. Alarm went off at 5:30a, I turned it off. I thought about getting up, but I just couldn't resist the magnetic pull of the cool softness of the 600 thread count sheets!! So, when I came across this exchange between a student and Shunryu Suzuki Roshi I just had to take it on as a personal teaching meant just for me.

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Student: When I am fully awake I have, maybe, a little control over my desires, but in the morning...

Suzuki Roshi: In the morning you have trouble. I know that. So that is why I say, "Get up!" [knocks on the table]

Student: How do you do that?

Suzuki Roshi: Just do it! Or else someone will come and hit you! [gives a kind of humorous growl]

Student: I did just get up a couple of times - I jumped out of bed. But it was such a big thing!

Suzuki Roshi: Yes. A big thing. So if you can get up pretty well, I think your practice is almost okay. That is a very good chance to practice our way. Just get up. Okay? That is the most important thing.

page 23

[from Nicole who got it from Anne]

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"A multivalued dependency (MVD) means that if I know the value of one attribute, I can always determine the values of a set of another attribute."

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I thought this was a silly but intriguing thing to do. Sorry guys, I did this one at my desk at work, so no sentence with deep esoteric meaning. Can you guess what I do for a living from that sentence?  :-)

Chan Tradition Dharma Talks

Western Chan Fellowship Dharma Talks

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I recently found this set of dharma talks to be very helpful to me in my practice and studies. I wanted to pass them along in hopes that they might insipre or help someone else who might not have heard of them. My Soto Zen tradition comes out of the Chinese Chan tradition and I identify very well with Master Sheng-yen's teachings.

Non-violence

Non-violence does not mean non-action. Non-violence means we act with love and compassion. The moment we stop acting, we undermine the principle of non-violence.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Cool Flash Zen Web Site

I just ran across the website for the Santa Monica Zen Center and wanted to share it. Hopefully it will attract some of the younger crowd to try Zen practice. What do you think? Do you think it's appropriate to market Zen practice in this way?

Change Your Mind...

Saturday, June 5th is "Change Your Mind" Day. Find a local event near you at Tricycle: Buddhist Review (click on the meditating traffic sign in the lower left corner of the page).

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Found this NYC site via the Tricycle link above, MeditateNYC.

Just sit when you can

I just realized that the feeling of disappointment I have for not being able to sit zazen everyday is directly linked to my expectation of making progress with my meditation practice in some way.

This is a hard one to let go of. Cultivating an attitude of "no gain" in my practice seems just about impossible right now. I started up this practice for a reason didn't I? I want to get SOMETHING out of it don't I? But then Masters say when you sit zazen, don't have any gaining idea. Hurumph! What's a practitioner to do with that?

{just keep sitting}

Yes. You're right. That IS what I am to do. Sit when I can, but just keep at it. When the time and conditions are right my practice will develop a consistency and strength on it's own. All that's required of me right now is just to sit when I can and let go of any notions of what my sitting schedule should look like. It is what it is right now and that's just fine.

As I'm writing this post I'm realizing that the power surrounding the expectation of gaining something through my practice has dissipated by just shining the light of my awareness on it. I can let go of these expectations of progress and gain to just return to the commitment of "just sit when I can". "Sit when I can" and not worry about whether it's not good enough practice. It's good enough for me today.

As she slept

Q: What is the most miraculous of all miracles?

A: That I sit quietly by myself.

~ Zen Mondo

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Well, family life makes it a bit challenging to actually sit by myself most days, so I gave up that idea and purposely sat zazen in Amy's room as she slept. I just wanted to be close to my 5 year old daughter for a while. I miss her on the nights that I come home late and she's already asleep in bed.

I remember reading an article about a mother who also was an ordained Zen priest who would take turns sitting zazen in each of her kid’s rooms and thought I'd give it a try.

It felt really neat, a very different experience from sitting alone in my room. At one point, I realized that I had started crying. I think they were more tears of joy and well-being than tears of sadness. I felt a bit silly for getting so emotional. But then I let that thought go too and returned to my breathing and just being with the miracle that is my daughter as she slept.

Music as Meditation...

Found Vienna Teng via Vince's site and I am in love with her music after just hearing 7 of her songs (6 on her web site and the one Vince posted). My favorites are Lullabye For A Stormy Night, Harbor and Feather Moon. Such beautiful music!! As Vince points out, Feather Moon has a meditative theme to it and I can actually see myself using it as a meditative aid for thoes times when I need a change of pace from my old routine. Check her out, you won't be sorry!!

If the world were a village...

You know those write ups where they list out the demographic stats if the earth's population is shrunk to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same?

Well, Rev Dai-En Bennage read one of these to us during my last visit to Mt. Equity Zen Monastery and I just can't stop thinking about it and how struck I was over how privileged I really am in my life today.

There were several numbers that really struck me:

60% of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people and all 6 would be citizens of the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer from malnutrition

If you have money in the bank, money in your wallet and spare change somewhere around the house, then you are among the richest 8.

Only 1 (one) out of that village of 100 would have a college education.

Wow, only 1 has a college education!! I have a college education, how freakin' lucky am I?? It sure puts my petty bitchin' and moanin' in perspective! I should count myself one of the luckiest people in the entire world. It sure makes me think about how I can contribute to helping those so much less fortunate than I am. Right now, all I know for sure is, I'm definitely not doing enough!!

Out of Character...

I did something the other day I've never done; I picked up someone walking by the side of the road and gave them a ride. This old woman walking along the side of the road, barely out of the way of the traffic, approached my passenger side window while I was stopped in traffic. She knocked on the window. For a split second I thought about just ignoring her and hope traffic would start moving again. But I didn't. I rolled down my window to see what she wanted. She said she wanted a ride to the bank just at the next light. Oh, ok I thought, if it was just to the next light I can do that. So, I opened the door and cleared off the passenger seat for her. She got in. The first thing I noticed as she was stepping into the car was that she was wearing slippers and what looked like a night gown that came down to just below her knees. Luckily it wasn't a brutally cold day, but it sure was cold enough and in addition to the night gown and slippers, all she had on was a light spring type coat. Yikes!! I all of a sudden just felt so bad for her.

It turns out she didn't know the name of the bank and it wasn't the Commerce bank that was up at the next light. She insisted that it was just up the road and that she'd recognize it when she saw it. We traveled about two miles before we got to the Fleet bank she was interested in. When we pulled into the parking lot it became obvious that it was closed. She got out to double check. She seemed real disappointed that it was closed. I was able to read the hours posted on the door. It said the bank had closed at three in the afternoon, it was now five twenty.

For a split second, I actually thought of leaving her there to walk home on her own. I couldn't do that, she had slippers and a night gown on for christ's sake!! I asked her where she lived, figuring it couldn't be too far from where I had picked her up. She said Broadside apartments. I didn't know where that was. She said it was near the Burger King. Oh, way up on Broad Street?? Yes. We had to be easily three miles away, maybe even four. I was shocked that she had walked so far in her slippers, night gown and light read jacket. So, I offered to drive her home and she accepted.

The drive felt like it was an eternity as we slowly make our way through rush hour traffic to Broad Street. I was so uncomfortable. I'm really not very good with striking up conversations with strangers and on top of that there was my fear. Here I am giving a complete stranger a ride. My mind started to imagine that this old woman might have a gun in the pocket of her jacket and demand all my money once we finally arrived at the apartments. I was prepared to give it to her if that were to be how things played out. But of course, that's not at all what happed. When we got to the apartments she asked if I'd mind just dropping her off at Burger King just a few hundred yards up the street, she said she was going to get something to eat. I drove in and dropped her off at the door. I thought she was going to ask me for food money, but she didn't and I didn't offer. She thanked me for the ride. I said your welcome and admonished her to stay safe. She walked into Burger King and that was the end of our encounter.

For this day...

For this day, being GRATEFUL for the favors of the Buddha and my parents, let me NOT COMPLAIN.

For this day, let ANGER be a STRANGER to me.

For this day, let me NOT FIND FAULT with others, nor BRAG about my own goodness.

For this day, let me NOT LIE nor ACT WITHOUT REASON AND JUSTICE.

For this day, let me ENJOY LIFE by DILIGENT ATTENDANCE to my TASKS.

~ source unknown

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The most challenging for me today is the last. I can so easily get sidetracked away from what needs to get done. May this awareness bring me back over and over again as my breath brings me back while sitting.

Peace in your hearts,
Peace in the world.

More on Oryoki...

In case someone is more interested, here is a good textual and pictorial description of the tradition of Oryoki as practiced in Soto Zen: Oryoki (The Practice of the Soto Zen Eating Bowl) + Instructions for the Tenzo by Dogen

::: MyZendo.com :::

Hey, here's a cool little applet that rings bells and claps clappers for you at pre-set intervals for timing your meditation period. The coolest part is you can even build your own custom meditation timer for what suits your needs. Very well done and the bells actually sound good to boot!! Go try it out!!

::: MyZendo.com :::